What not to do this year + tips to ensure 2023 doesn't all go to 💩
Responding impulsively, instead of taking a moment to think through your response/action can impact many areas of your life.
At this time of year, I see people jump on the bandwagon to lose weight (nothing wrong with that) but they beat themselves up for the festive season blowout and sign up to the gym and put themselves on an unrealistic meal plan in hope of dropping the Xmas kilos. We know how this scenario often ends… a gym membership that isn’t used after the first two weeks and the meal plan? What meal plan?
My tip, take a step back and take the time to analyse the situation (whatever that may be), process any feelings that might be coming up, and then respond in a productive and healthy way. If we apply this tip to the weight loss example mentioned above – accept that the festive season may cause you to have to loosen your belt. And instead of reacting with knee-jerk unrealistic action, put considered steps that you can be consistent with.
Like clockwork when mid-January hits my clinic is full of people who say they feel lost, confused, overwhelmed and unmotivated. They often struggle with feeling stuck, uncertain, and find themselves unable to see solutions to their problems or a path forward.
If you are nodding while you are reading this? I got you!
Firstly, spend some time in quiet reflection and try to clear your mind of all the noise and information that can be clouding your ability to think clearly. I find writing down my thoughts on paper stops the mental chatter and gives me space to gain perspective.
Secondly, talk to someone you trust and get their perspective on the situation. It can be helpful to get an outside, unbiased opinion that can help you see things from a different angle.
Finally, take some time to break down the issue into smaller, more manageable pieces. This can help you to focus on the individual components of the situation and make it easier to come up with a solution. Listen to my podcast on chunking down to help you with this.
Do you find yourself often overly cautious when it comes to making decisions?
Do you find it takes a long time to decide what to do, even when it comes to simple tasks.
Ready to nip this in the bud?
First, identify the source of your hesitation - is it a fear of failure, lack of self-confidence, or something else? Once you understand the reason for your hesitation, you can start to work on developing strategies to help you move forward.
For example, if you're afraid of failure, try setting smaller, more achievable goals and celebrate the successes you achieve along the way.
If you lack self-confidence, focus on recognising and building on your strengths, practice positive self-talk and be kind to yourself (we are all learning). You can also try educating yourself about what’s got you in doubt . Right now the world is abundant with information – Google, YouTube, podcasts, social media and subject matter experts have never been so easily accessible. Just know where to draw the line and take note of peoples experience and credentials.
Lastly, don’t be afraid to ask for help or talk to a mental health professional (like me) if you feel like you need more support.
With time, practice, and patience, you can learn to stop second-guessing yourself and find it easier to say goodbye to feelings of doubt.
Have Unrealistic Expectations
When you expect too much of yourself and others it inevitably leads to feelings of frustration and disappointment.
We’ve all done it, and this time of year is notorious for setting goals that are too far out of reach or too difficult to achieve.
It is important to be realistic when setting goals and expectations, and to be open to the possibility of having to make changes and adjustments along the way.
And when it comes to expectations of others, be mindful of their strengths and limitations and be willing to compromise when necessary.
Fail to Fulfill Your Commitments
When you are unreliable you leave yourself and sometimes others feeling let down, frustrated, and disappointed.
It can look like:
making plans or goals that you never follow through;
starting projects that you never finish; or
not making healthy choices such as eating well or exercising regularly.
Being reliable means that you can be counted on to do what you say you will do. Here are my top tips:
Get clear - know exactly what you need to do and when you need to do it.
Communicate with others to maintain expectations (if applicable to the commitment).
Take responsibility, this includes not making excuses for not doing what you said you would.
Be consistent – this not only makes you feel good but shows others that you can be counted on and be trusted to follow through. Over time, this consistency helps you achieve your goals, improve your relationships and may even promote new and exciting opportunities.
I hope you found value in this blog post, let me know.
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