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  • Writer's pictureVee Vinci

Mind the Gap (Expectation vs Reality)



So, recently I've noticed an Expectation versus Reality theme in client sessions.

I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise, we all deal with it at some point in our lives.

We have a certain idea of how things should be, but when they don't line up with reality, it can be a source of stress, anxiety, or even frustration.

But no matter what the source of your expectation versus reality conflict - relationships, career, health, finance, or personal goals and achievements.

You need to remember you will get through it…

And the roadmap out is always the same!

And it’s not even that complicated.

It just takes time and space.

Taking a minute to sit in and recognise where you are currently at.

Identifying the feeling the conflict has given rise to. Examples may include anger, sadness, surprise/shock, fear, disgust, insecurity, shame, loneliness, or confusion.

And accepting where you are at and acknowledging the feelings associated with it.

Now, this doesn't mean that you have to like where you are at.

Or that you can't work to change it.

It just means you need to acknowledge the reality of your current situation.

Because trying to force things to be different than they are, or trying to “think positively” will only lead to further frustration and disappointment.

Once you've accepted where you are, you can start moving through it.

And yes, it won’t be all rainbows and rose petals.

But it's important to remember that it's not permanent. You won't feel this way forever.

I know it’s hard to acknowledge where you are when it’s not where you want to be.

Especially when your natural instinct may be to avoid it or try to make it go away as quickly as possible.

But it’s important! It’s an opportunity to learn, grow, and build resilience, emotional strength, and self-awareness.

Plus you owe it to yourself - to take a moment to feel things rather than fobbing them off.


I hope you found this helpful. However, if you're struggling with the gap between your expectations and reality, know that you're not alone.

Contact HeadQuarters Counselling Services and we will help you navigate the space in between.

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